Three Deadly Mistakes To Avoid At A Networking Event
Rarely a week goes by that I don’t receive an invitation to attend a networking event. No matter what city I’m working in, it always seems that something is going on in the networking world…..too great to be missed!
Visibility is one of the first steps in building a concrete relationship for growing your business. But, you must take every effort to ensure that the visibility you are receiving is positive. From your body language, to your personal actions, you are being judged from people throughout the room. Some of the people you may not need to know today, but tomorrow they may be the decision maker on a proposal you are hoping to land!
Without the proper visibility techniques, you will never be able to make it to the credibility phase of developing a relationship. Dr. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, teaches that you must first create visibility and then establish credibility to eventually experience profitability. And, we all know, that profitability is the ultimate goal of us attending any networking event…..right?
So, I’d like to point out three deadly mistakes you should always avoid when attending a networking event if you want positive visibility and credibility.
Be Selective Of The Company You Keep
Brian Tracy, renowned author, tells us that you are the average of the five people you are associated with the most.
I’d like to suggest that you are careful of whom you associate with when you are at a networking event. A person may be a lot of fun at the corner pub, but can be detrimental to your success at a networking event. I’m not advocating giving anyone the “cold shoulder,” but you should always be conscious of the drama that tends to follow certain people and avoid spending an extended amount of time with them.
Remember, the goal to attending a networking event is to build relationships not destroy them.
Watch Your Liquor Consumption…..Name Your Poison
Recently, a local networker was seen at a community networking event with “a drink in both hands.” Wow, wouldn’t you love to be the one that everyone notices with “a drink in both hands?” What were they thinking? Was it last call or something?
Social drinking is obviously acceptable, but you must, you must, you MUST know when to say WHEN. Once again, you are networking to building relationships, not poison them.
Even if you’ve had a rough day or even a rough week, you can’t turn to the local networking event to numb your personal problems. If your week has been that bad……GO HOME! Remember, you will never get to the credibility phase with others if your visibility is sloshed!
Avoid Gossip At All Costs
I say to avoid gossip at all costs because that’s exactly what it will be…..it will cost you business in the end. You must realize that even though most networking events are loud and noisy, people still overhear conversations. If someone hears you gossiping about someone else, they will first feel uncomfortable and not want to be in the circle with you and secondly, they will usually distance themselves from you at future events.
Remember, that the only people who are interested in your gossip are those who are helping you spread it. Everyone else sees gossip for exactly what it is…..an act to destroy relationships and build animosity.
So, the next time you’re at an event, take a look around and notice the groups of people networking. Notice how their body language is expressing a positive action to build visibility. Take note at who they are networking with…..and realize how quickly they are building credibility among their peers.
And then, notice those who are obviously there to partake in libations and gossip and talk about how people don’t treat them fairly.
Is it any wonder those networkers never make it to profitability?
Learn To NETwork The Room With A “Cordial Smile”
We’ve all heard the saying “actions speak louder than words.” And, most of know it’s really the truth, but why don’t more of us spend time trying to learn the meanings behind “actions.”
A great outlet to market your business is attending networking events. But, you need to know how to get the best out of one of these events for it to be worth your while. Learning how to read the actions of fellow networkers could mean the difference in you landing that big deal you’ve been working on…..or losing it! And, just as important, is the message your body language is projecting to everyone at the event.
In a previous article I spoke about the importance of possessing a genuine smile while networking. Let’s take a look at another type of smile you may encounter from time to time. I like to call this the “cordial smile.” This is the smile that you put on when you are “on stage.” Just as if you were to paint it on like putting on stage make-up, you know exactly when to put this smile on and when you can safely take it off. Putting on the cordial smile is no different than putting on your best suit when preparing for a social event. You want to look your best and give the best impression you can…..and your cordial smile is just part of the uniform for the event.
The cordial smile usually will not involve the eyes as much as the “genuine smile” does and it rarely creates the “crow’s feet” wrinkles at the eyes as the genuine smile. Usually the person will only slightly be showing their teeth in the smile as well. The message being given is that you are approachable. And, more importantly, you want to approach others and the smile is asking for their permission to enter their space. The genuine smile shows more confidence in you; the cordial smile is a bit more reserved, but just as meaningful.
What I find important about the cordial smile is actually the lack of it. That’s right. The lack of your cordial smile is what you should be aware of when meeting someone in a networking or social environment. If you want to entice more referrals for marketing your book, you must understand that it’s your smile that first attracts attention to you.
It is of the utmost importance to be on your best behavior when you are attending a networking event. After all, what’s the point of networking if you aren’t going to be making the best impression you possibly can make. We all have experienced bad days, have had a headache, or just received a speeding ticket on the way to an event. But one thing I have found is that half of the people you meet don’t care about your troubles of the day, and the other half are just glad your day was worse than theirs!
You should be aware that many impressions you make are made from a distance. The brain actually records and deciphers a smile from afar before any other form of body language. You may only meet 10 or 15 people at your next networking event, but that doesn’t mean that 30, 40 or even 50 people aren’t noticing you as you work the room…..especially if you have your “cordial smile” on for the evening.
If you are lacking either the genuine smile or the cordial smile, then you are sending the message to everyone that you really are not approachable. Even if you make the first move to meet someone, they probably won’t be very receptive to you because of the lack of a friendly face. When you smile, you are sending a message that you are happy, that life is good. And, when you are not smiling, your body language is telling everyone that you have other things on your mind. No one enjoys being around unhappy people. So, they tend to avoid networkers who lack a smile.
So the next time you are getting ready to attend your special event, take a brief moment before you get out of your car…..look in the rear view mirror, paint that smile on your face and say to yourself, “wow I look good.” And, you will!
Give The Gift Of A Genuine Smile While Networking
At the next networking event you attend, I’d like to challenge you to give a gift to as many people as you possibly can while in attendance. It doesn’t have to be wrapped in fancy paper or even have a pretty bow. All you need is to offer each person you meet the gift of your “genuine” smile.
Many studies have been written regarding our smiles, but how powerful will it be when you consider your smile as a small gift to everyone you come into contact with at your next networking event. And, more importantly, they will realize it was a gift as well.
We’ve all been in situations where we were looking at someone while attending a meeting, or even walking down the street. When they made eye contact with us, we would immediately look away, right? We didn’t want them knowing we were looking at them. Why not?
Next time you make eye contact with someone, even if you don’t know them, offer them the gift of a genuine smile and see what their reaction is. I’m willing to bet, they will return the gift! If the situation is right, that small gesture usually creates an opportunity for you to introduce yourself. After all, isn’t that why you are attending networking events…..to meet people you don’t already know?
I’d like to offer you a few tips to ensure that you are sending the “right” message, however. The smile is one of the easiest forms of body language to interpret. So, be fully aware that your smile MUST be genuine.
Actually, think about some of the smiles that you have received lately. When someone flashes a quick smile, the message they are sending is that they are acknowledging you, but they are too busy to offer a genuine smile because that may lead into a conversation. So, if someone flashes you the quick smile…..smile back and keep moving. They probably aren’t open to having a conversation at the moment.
Then, there is a more genuine smile that takes a second or two to be communicated. Watch the eyes…..first they will raise their eyebrows. After they begin the smile with their eyes, their lips will follow the eyebrows and turn upward as well. A genuine smile is an invitation to say “hello.” Now, you can smile back and offer a handshake.
The first step in communication is in the eyes. The handshake is the first step to building a relationship.
